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KEEPING THE CHEER IN THE HOLIDAYS
'Tis the
season to be happy. Or is it?
While those facing Alzheimer's disease or a related illness in
their family might question the sentiment, experts say that it
is possible to not only keep the cheer in the holidays, but also
to savor them.
Here's how:
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Communicate concerns.
In advance of the holidays, be candid with family and
friends about your loved one's condition and your concerns,
and enlist their support. In cases where resentment brews
because one family member assumes the primary caregiving
role, use this season of giving as an opportunity to discuss
sharing family responsibilities and to strive for family
togetherness.
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Set
realistic expectations.
Consider both what the individual with dementia is capable
of and what you, as a caregiver, can handle given your
demanding role. Then, put celebrations into manageable
proportions. This can help decrease stress and head off
feelings of depression that stem from unrealistic
expectations, both for you and your loved one.
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Select
appropriate activities.
Be mindful of the individual's current mental condition and
do special things that they can still appreciate. Engage
your loved one in singing and dancing since these abilities
tend to remain intact longer. Involve them in some
rituals—whether it is lighting the menorah, decorating the
tree or baking cookies. Try to spark memories by bringing
out family photographs or heirlooms. But do not demand
mental performance by asking them to name people, places or
other facts. Rather, help stimulate memories by offering
descriptions as you present each object.
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Pare down
traditions.
With round-the-clock caregiving, it may not be feasible to
juggle all of your religious and ethnic observances. You can
still keep traditions alive; just reduce their number to
avoid feeling overwhelmed and frustrated. Ask your loved one
which traditions to choose; it is another way to involve
them. Even though they may not recall later on, making the
effort reinforces the fact that you care what is important
to them and will make you feel better as a caregiver.
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Adapt
family gatherings.
Since crowds, noise and altering routines can aggravate
confusion and other behavioral problems, revising your
get-togethers may be in order. For example, instead of
entertaining the whole clan, limit the number of attendees
at a holiday dinner or spread out several smaller gatherings
on different days. Mark a calendar with upcoming visits to
make your loved one feel special.
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Stick
with familiar settings.
Because new environments can increase disorientation and
pose safety concerns, discard restaurants or relatives'
houses in favor of your own home. Likewise, if Mass is still
important to your loved one, consider how they can
participate. For example, take your loved one to an earlier,
less crowded service; if they can not leave their home
structure, watch a Mass on TV or ask clergy to make a house
call.
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Head off
problems.
Avoid alcohol, which may cause depression, increase the risk
of falls and add to the loss of brain cells. Try to schedule
holiday activities or visits earlier in the day before the
potential for
sundowning—behavioral
problems that typically occur toward dusk among those in the
middle stages of dementia. And, in preparing for holiday
celebrations, do not re-arrange furniture or create
obstacles-both are accidents waiting to happen.
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Limit
holiday decorations.
Decorations can still adorn your home, but in moderation.
Hang cheerful ones that recall memories and family
traditions. Do not overdo the ornaments on a Christmas tree.
Remember that hauling out a lifetime of garlands, religious
items and wall decorations can clause clutter and over
stimulation, which can intensify disorientation and
agitation. Ensure, even more than usual, that decorations do
not block pathways or pose potential fire hazards.
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Re-think
gift giving.
Devise ways to include your loved one, depending on their
capabilities. You might take them to a store to buy
presents, and offer extra guidance. Or, you can buy the
gifts for them and wrap them together since many individuals
with dementia like handling paper. In giving presents, pick
ones appropriate for someone with the disease. Instead of
something material, try things that are simple, personal and
sentimental. For example, photographs and heirlooms provide
the opportunity to reminisce—a gift in itself.
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Welcome
youngsters.
While it is important to include children, it is just as
vital to consider their feelings. Address the fear factor by
helping them have special moments with their relatives. If
their loved one uses inappropriate language or easily
becomes angry during the visit, explain that this behavior
is not personal or intentional; it is part of the disease.
Youngsters' excitement about the holidays can be contagious.
Singing songs together can strike a chord for someone with
dementia. Or having an elder teach dominoes to children is a
good way to foster interaction and make your loved one feel
they have something to offer.
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Join a
support group.
A forum to express feelings and socialize can help overcome
sadness for both caregivers and individuals in the early
stages of dementia. Unfortunately, the incidence of depression
ranks high during and after the holidays. Consult with a
healthcare professional if you detect warning signs of
depression: tearfulness, poor eating habits, withdrawal,
inability to sleep, and physical complaints.
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Enjoy
yourself.
The greatest gift at the holidays: time. Ask a family
member, friend or healthcare professional to keep your loved
one company so you can relish some respite—time for some
holiday shopping, a walk in the park, checkers with an old
friend or whatever present you want to give yourself.
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